Having a band rather than a DJ is important to us, and having a band that can play the Hava Negila is especially important – there’s just something about inserting a CD for the most exciting song of the reception that doesn’t sit well with us.

My first instinct was to hire my favorite band from college. They’re one of those bands that does the perfect cover of both Van Morrison and Ludacris, and whose gigs have been the destination on many a Friday night for me and my friends. Although they didn’t know the Hava Negila, they were willing to learn it for us. Ultimately, I realized that as much as it pained me to admit it, this wasn’t college and our guest list consists mostly of older Jewish relatives – not exactly the college bar scene audience.

Our search took us outside of the city down to New Orleans, where Judaism isn’t as much of a rarity. There are three reform temples, two JCCs, and at least one band that knows Hava Negila: The Panorama Jazz Band (PJB).

The band had performed for Simchat Torah at our synagogue one year, and although I was not in attendance,  I was aware that they existed. I checked out their webpage, and not only do they have an impressive playlist of Jewish music, they are also technically a New Orleans jazz band. Since we can’t let our guests sample traditional Louisiana fare like crawfish etouffe or shrimp and grits, we figured we would treat them to a different facet of Louisiana culture, the music. In addition to playing at our reception, The PJB will also serve as our ceremony musicians.

Since PJB doesn’t typically play much popular music, we had a few decisions to make about our first dance. We could either choose an actual style of song and learn the dance (waltz, foxtrot), or we could ask the band to learn a song of our choosing. From the beginning of our wedding planning, choosing a song has proven to be one of our biggest challenges. We don’t have “a song” per se, but I wanted the song we chose for our first dance to have some kind of personal meaning.

Eventually, I realized that there was one band whose music seemed to follow us around. See, my fiancé and I love to travel and don’t mind long drives. Our longest trips were a two week vacation that involved driving from Louisiana to Los Angeles, and a month long road trip from Louisiana up to Toronto via NYC and Boston, and back down through Chicago. On both of our journeys, my fiance’s iPod contained every Beatles song you could imagine – and luckily, the PJB knows a few of their songs. We chose “Something”, and I’m excited to hear PBJ’s jazz rendition of it… I’m crossing my fingers that their talent will overshadow our lack of dancing skills!

Although I could think of at least four friends that I would love to have as bridesmaids, my fiancé made it loud and clear that there were only two people worthy of being his groomsmen: his 19 year-old brother, and his best friend since high school. I knew this would be one of the few requests my fiancé would have about the wedding, so I decided to oblige him, and for the sake of simplicity choose just two bridesmaids for myself. It was a no brainer; I knew I couldn’t get married without my two oldest friends beside me.

Me, R, and K

My friend K and I were in the same Girl Scout troop in 5th grade, but we didn’t truly bond until she arrived early to my Bat Mitzvah two years later. Among the highlights of our ten year plus relationship include perfecting N Sync’s “Bye Bye Bye” dance, competing as the worst doubles team ever in high school tennis, and successfully navigating ourselves through Amsterdam after studying abroad in London.

My friend R and I met when were put in the same group at our first ever NFTY event one 8th grade weekend. Our first memory together involves an oh-so-luxurious “spa night”, where we soaked our feet in warm milk. Luckily that “spa” memory was replaced with a slightly more sophisticated one when we traveled to Vegas for our 21st birthdays. Our friendship has stuck even through an “Odd Couple” style tenure as roommates in college… which says a lot, because I know I can be an annoying slob!

Because I love ANY excuse for a project, and I LOVE procrastinating, I decided it was necessary to send K & R a package. I’ve seen many generic “Top 10 Reasons You Should Be My Bridesmaid” lists floating around the internet, but being that I am anti pre-packaged poems of any kind I was determined to come up with something unique. Here’s what I came up with:

I bought a feather duster and yellow rubber gloves which I attached to this booklet. The cover says “Top Five Reasons You Should be a Maid Now That You Have the Supplies.”

Numbers 5-3 were an inside joke with a picture (different for each girl).

Number 2 was their head on an ugly bridesmaid dress.

And number 1 was a personal note.

I’m happy to report that these booklets/cleaning supply bouquets were a huge hit and are currently on display at both of my bridesmaids’ houses!

Among the Southern wedding traditions I’m foregoing is the general vibe. No plantation homes or Steel Magnolias-esque affairs here!  The feel I’m going for is modern – somewhere between a cocktail party and formal vibe. No tuxedos, but no jorts please! Our reception venue lends itself nicely to this – it’s on the rooftop of an art gallery overlooking the Mississippi River.

I’ve always loved this rooftop terrace. I often frequent a sushi restaurant located at the top this building which overlooks our rooftop venue. I’ve had my eye on it for a while, and after visiting a museum, a reception hall, and a hotel ballroom which were all deemed too expensive, boring, or generic we realized that this venue fit us perfectly. And the icing on the cake – the building is silver and yellow!

Our ceremony location isn’t too shabby either. The synagogue I’ve been attending since I was ten years old completely renovated their sanctuary last year. This had been a work in progress since 2005 when Rita (Katrina’s little cousin) destroyed the roof. The new sanctuary is contemporary and as you can see, photographs really well.

I wish I could share more details about the setup of our reception but even now, with the wedding two months away, I can’t make a decision to save my life. I still have millions of ideas floating around in my head, all thanks to wedding blogs like this one. If the wedding actually turns out semi close to what I’ve envisioned, I’ll consider the event a success. And even if it doesn’t… I’ll have just married the “Nice Jewish Boy” of my dreams. That’s pretty much all that matters!

I first fell in love with our color scheme after seeing this featured on a design blog:

Yes, our yellow and gray color scheme was born of a condom wrapper.
A fancy, exclusively available at W Hotels condom wrapper.

It was hard to find any inspiration in those colors for the longest time, so we decided to incorporate more black into our color scheme.  And right after my bridesmaids bought their black dresses, this happened:

J. Crew and Liz Claiborne were clearly stalking me and my wedding planning.

I can’t decide if this validates my off-beat color choice, or annoys me because I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST.

The color combination will mostly show up in our paper products – and the groom + groomsmen ties, thanks to the sudden popularity of yellow and gray apparel.

Our centerpieces and bouquets will consist of a variety of yellow flowers, just don’t ask me what kind because I know nothing about flowers – I’m leaving that up to the professionals!  I’m lucky enough to be friendly with a fabulous florist who not only is very creative and does beautiful work, but also is Jewish and knows what a chuppah is!

I google “yellow and gray” pretty much every day, but I’m curious: has anyone seen any yellow/grey inspiration out there that I might have missed?

There are four things that seem pretty standard to Southern Louisiana weddings that I just don’t get:

1. Bridal Portraits A few weeks before the wedding the bride puts on her dress, does her hair and makeup, and stands on a staircase with a bouquet. As far as I can tell, the purpose of this is to have a picture of the bride to display at the reception.
2. A Groom’s Cake shaped like a) a mounted deer head, or b) beer
3. Buffets consisting of deep fried everything, including seafood. I apologize in advance to my three non-Jewish guests, but we’re going to try and keep this wedding Kosher!
4. The Money Dance, where guests must pay cash to dance with the bride and groom (I think this may have been taken from an old Polish tradition).

{Images from EB Cakes and the Wichita Heritage Society}

Nothing against any of these things – I’ll eat cake of any shape or size, and I also enjoy an occasional deep fried Southern Louisiana meal – but the typical Southern wedding is just not very “us.” The wedding we’re planning is likely to leave a few  of our more traditional Southern guests puzzled, but it will also incorporate little personal touches that I think (and hope) will leave a lasting impression!

I can’t wait to share more of my wedding planning details with you.  Stay tuned….

Almost one year ago, just before the first night Passover Seder, two Jews attended a very Baptist wedding in a small Louisiana town…..

That’s us! (We were way overdressed – people were wearing jorts!)

The wedding was a total culture shock, but it must have inspired something. On the way home, as we pulled the car in front of of our newly rented house, my fiance pulled this out:

Taken a few minutes after he proposed… my favorite part is that my seatbelt was on the entire time. Safety first!

Afterward, we celebrated with my fiance’s family and some friends. The celebration included wine, matzo balls and my personal favorite, hard boiled eggs (I always call dibs on Elijah’s).

How did two Jews find each other in Louisiana? We were two out of a handful at our huge university and were both on the board of the newly formed Hillel – I was President, he was Secretary. The commentary he inserted into the minutes from our first board meeting was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read and I knew then that I was interested in him.

After a brief period of not seeing each other when Hurricane Katrina shut down our school for two weeks and we both went to our respective hometowns to help at shelters, I received a text message – “Will you go to Kol Nidre with me?”

Now here we are 3 years later, planning our wedding for late June. Stay tuned for updates including the frustrations of explaining a Jewish wedding to Cajuns – especially our vendors, who seem to think I am mistaken when I tell them our wedding is being held on a Sunday!