When Loren and I first met I was a senior at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.  He was living in Chicago pursuing a career as a musician and had landed a day job as Program Director of UIC’s (University of Illinois in Chicago) Hillel.  We met like any other nice Jewish couple of our generation, on JDate.com.  When I tell people we met on the Internet, it is usually followed by an uncomfortable silence… then a nervous giggle… and finally a sigh of relief… when they realize that they’re not the only ones who met on JDate!  Of course I always further dramatize this story by explaining that I was actually on the site as part of a performance art piece based on the ways that I had been treated by Jewish and Latino men.  Loren had also had his profile up on the site for two years but didn’t pay for an active membership until he saw my profile.

The irony  is that a year earlier while studying abroad in Spain, a friend had introduced me to the site.  Shocked that I was a Jew who had never heard of JDate, she was determined to get me acquainted.   Together we perused the site.  Although I wasn’t looking- I was still curious.  And here it is:  I saw Loren’s picture and immediately knew that if I were to meet someone on JDate, he’s the one who I would want to be with.  Of course this was based on superficial reasons:  his photo, his cockiness, his bold statement that he was modern orthodox and that was something that would scare off girls.  Not me I thought, I could definitely win him over…

And the other shocker (although in the Jewish world how shocking are coincidences ever really) is that my brother went to UIC, was active in their Hillel, and it turns out Loren was my brother’s girlfriend’s boss.  When we finally put together the pieces Loren said ” I should have known!  How many other Guatemalan Reconstructionist Jews are there living in Chicago?”

So here they are, our first 4 exchanges on JDate.  Pretty much all we needed (I moved in about a month after we started dating).

09/27/2005 04:30 PM
Subject:
A profile to notice
Message:
About 30 minutes ago, for some reason, I decided to finally pay for JDate after two years of e-loitering. Your profile was among the first that I saw…immediately after reading an article about Guatemalan jewry, oddly enough.

I know everyone says that everyone’s profile “stands out”, but yours honestly does to me. And don’t worry, your skepticism about online dating is most likely reciprocated by everyone else on here. After all, why would we pay for a dating service if we were optimistic about relationships?

You say you take a while to respond…that’s ok. Whenever you get around to it.

Loren

—Original Message—
From: maya35C8
Sent: 10/1/2005 2:01:00 PM
To: LorenTheGuy
Subject: RE: A profile to notice

I think that its great you are modern orthodox… Doesn’t scare me at all :) As long as your not bothered by a reconstructionist who plans to attend Rabbinical School Post Grad School.

I would love to hear more about you. I must admit I think you are incredibly handsome.

What sort of music do you play?

maya
Date:
10/02/2005 11:01 AM
Subject:
RE: A profile to notice
Message:
Maya,

Scared by a beautiful Jewish girl who wants to live a Jewish life? I’d be insane to find that off-putting.

As for me, I expect you’ll get plenty o’ chances to find out more about me. I’m not exactly your average shy, introverted Jewish fella who keeps to himself. Not to say I don’t know when to shut up and soak in my surroundings.

Musically, I’m a little diverse. I currently play guitar/write songs for a hard rock band, which I often refer to as my pro-bono second full-time job. However, my secret obsession is my keyboard, which I have quite an affinity for and thus play constantly. I write odd minor-key songs that somehow sound like Aqualung and Tom Waitt. I love them, even if I don’t totally know where they come from…

I also do stand-up comedy…but I’ll save that for another time.

Still intrigued? I hope so. Write me back, sooner rather than later. Hope you had an enjoyable Shabbat.

Loren

Sent: 10/2/2005 7:08:00 PM
To: LorenTheGuy
Subject: RE: A profile to notice

Stand Up Comedy… sounds like fun! Do you perform in Chicago?

Actually do you live in Chicago (in the city?) Where is the Hillel office located (Sheesh… I sound like im interviewing you). My brother’s girlfriend is very active in UIC’s Hillel, i wonder if you know her…

Anyways we should get together, you seem really nice, and lemmie tell you Jdate seems to have a large amount of weirdos!

maya
Date:
10/03/2005 01:34 PM
Subject:
RE: A profile to notice
Message:
[my brother's girlfriend] actually called me in the middle of writing that message. She then proceeded to incriminate you for 30 minutes straight. Regardless, I still plan on calling you Wednesday night, and perhaps we could get together not too long after that.

Shanah Tovah…

Loren